Her Success Is Not Your Failure

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it..

Psalm 139:14

I struggled with comparison for a very long time, searching high and low for a way to beat the habit. My comparison sprang from a variety of factors, including trauma and the desire to be good enough, as well as human nature, which I did not fully appreciate at the time. There were times it was negative and times where it was positive but I didn't grasp that my experience of it was affected by my viewpoint on it.

Often times i found myself trying to play mind control games in order to forcefully stop myself from comparing myself to the next person and the results were absolutely depressing. When I eventually gave up attempting to control my mind and bullying myself into change, I opened myself up to a new way of thinking and experienced a massive development season.

The paradox of comparison is that your experience is determined by your perspective - Authentic_Sam

For good reason, comparison is frequently assessed from a negative standpoint. When comparison is mismanaged, it can lead to jealousy and ill will toward another person and oneself. When your comparison progresses to the inability to congratulate your peers, friends or family, it is time to re-evaluate.

Why Comparison Has Negative Effects?

Two peas of different pods:

We rarely compare ourselves to people who are unlike us; instead, we frequently compare ourselves to those with whom we share commonalities. People frequently compare themselves to those with whom they share desires. When we locate someone who is similar to us, we have a type of "look in the mirror," and then we critique ourselves or them based on our findings. Having similarities with the next person does not automatically make your life path's the same. Psalm 139 gives us a glimpse of how intricate our design is. Our creator would not fearfully and wonderfully focus on a carbon copy of another human being, so i would advise that you embrace your unique blueprints.

Never be enough:

The mismanagement of comparison can result in you becoming a glass half full type of individual. If you have ever found yourself struggling to celebrate your achievements or perhaps you often complain about your life and knit pick at it every time you come home from meeting up with friends or scrolling through social media, then you need to be aware that these are indicators that your comparison has become a toxic companion that needs to be cut off.

Positive Comparison

Identify the problem, but give your energy and power into finding a solution- Someone Wise

I'm not a fan of recognizing issues while ignoring solutions. So here's a small nugget I discovered after shifting my attention. If we are fascinated by purpose, we will not be distracted by comparison. Maintain your focus on PERSONAL GROWTH. Do not let your grass wither because you are so preoccupied with seeing your neighbor's lawn thrive. Accept that everyone of us is on a different route, with different difficulties, roads, and opportunities along the way. You may miss your turn because you moved your gaze away from the road. I once heard it said that comparison is the thief of joy and i boldly disagree. I believe that your viewpoint on comparison impacts your experience with it. So, whenever a comparing idea arises, pick wisely which side of the spectrum you want to be on.

Get Inspired

Comparison helps us form a baseline for where we are and where we want to be. It brings us to pay attention to self. If you allow it, it can show you if you need to heal from insecurities, if you need improve your craft, and if you are learning and growing. Comparison is a powerful motivator and is in the business of teaching us to overcome our fears and doubts when we see someone achieve something we were once afraid to venture into. It can give us the boldness to try something new, stretching our knowledge and understanding of topics. It drives us to apply ourselves and raise our personal standard. So here are some activities to practice while we transform our minds and look at comparison from a learning standpoint.

• Create a mental red traffic light for negative comparison, do not allow the thought to continue until it has changed from foe to friend. Replacing the negative comparison with a positive affirmation of your journey and your growth, taking careful consideration of improvement points. This is transformational thinking!

• Compliment your friends, peers, and family members for their achievements and MEAN IT!

• Finally, embrace your journey and explore your unique blueprints, you will be surprised at how innovative and interesting you are when you present yourself with the opportunity to learn and be authentically you.

Until next time my lovelies, stay blessed, unstressed and authenticity obsessed.