New Year! New Values!

I'm sure we have all heard the saying "dead fish go with the flow". As we press the reset button for the new year let us decide what our personal flow will be by setting personal values.

When I first started blogging, I was willing to go to any length to become a well-known writer and blogger. I eventually lost traction and had to take a pause to figure out what my brand was and develop a lasting identity for myself. Yes, it took a full year! Finding ourselves has become a microwave experience: you take a bubble bath and maybe turn off your phone for a few hours, and then you say, "I am no longer accepting less than I deserve." Let's be honest, it's not that straightforward, nor is it a journey with an end. I learnt the hard way that you construct who you want to be through deliberate effort and action, which may result in multiple attempts.

Creating Non-Negotiable Values

" I've learned that you should'nt go through life with a catcher's mitt on your hands; You need to be able to throw something back "

- Maya Angelou

Let's begin with a definition of personal values:

"Personal values are the things that matter to us, the characteristics and behaviors that drive us and influence our decisions".

Write out a list of what you like and what you do not like.

Everyone is unique, and what makes one person happy may make another feel nervous or disconnected. Defining and living by your unique values can help you feel more fulfilled and make choices that make you happy, even if they don't make sense to others. If you value adventure, for example, you may feel suffocated if you allow yourself to be forced by society or others to choose "safe" choices like a solid corporate job and a settled family life. A career involving travel, starting your own business, or other possibilities for risk and excitement may be more suitable for you. It makes absolutely no sense to go out clubbing every weekend if your heart craves a movie night with your friends in a blanket fort, or a night out at a carnival, or maybe you really get excited by the idea of staying in and reading a book. So take the time to sit and really figure out what makes you happy.

Be faithful to yourself

Learn to teach people how to do life with you; it's an integral part of being authentic and living your truth. The option to say yes and no to what benefits you and what does not is one that is rarely used wisely; we either get caught up in people-pleasing or, worse, we start living as if we are islands and no one else matters. It is critical to establish a balance between doing life with others and vice versa. In the process, you learn to step out of your comfort zone and actually learn something new from your circle and their personal values and hobbies.

Some questions you can answer

Learn yourself in order to connect more deeply with others.

• What is the most important thing to you in life ?

• What kind of environments or conduct irritates you ?

• What would you like to change about the world or yourself ?

• What would you do if you could pursue whatever career you wanted without regard for money or other practical considerations ?

• What kinds of situations or behaviors inspire you ?

• What are you most proud of ?

• What are some of your happiest memories ?

• what is your clothing style ?

• what type of music, food, or entertainment excite you ?
  

Living Intentionally fuels living with purpose.

Purpose is another topic that demands in-depth discussion; nonetheless, living intentionally is one of the steps towards figuring out how to live in purpose. Answering these questions and devoting time each day to learning about yourself and your surroundings will get you closer to your goal. It takes a lot more than a bath, candles, and self-care goods. (THEY REMAIN IMPORTANT, THOUGH!)

Remember to set aside time to be calm and rest because you are a human being, not a research experiment that requires regular knitpicking and criticism. Be kind with yourself, exhibiting love and patience. Of course, ideally, you will live according to all of the values on your list. However, you have a limited amount of time and energy. Prioritizing allows you to guarantee that you're spending your time and money on the things that will have the greatest impact on your life.

Until next time: stay blessed, unstressed and value obsessed.